Finding Direction When You’re Feeling Lost

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Control. People are readier to find meaning in their choices if they believe they took them freely — that the choices really were theirs to make. At the time I met Paul, he had started wondering whether he had chosen to get married because he really wanted to or because everybody at his age was already married. This sense of having someone else’s meaning imposed on his was also something that he experienced in his choice of career — business, as I’ve already noted, had been his second option.

Transcendence. (超越；卓越) As an old Greek proverb notes, “society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall (应，会) never sit in.” We find our most profound meaning when we move beyond self-interest and self-fulfillment to make room within ourselves for other people to whom we are not personally close — when we connect ourselves purposefully (有目的地；自觉地) to our community and society at large. It was clear that transcendence had never been part of Paul’s make-up (一部分，构造); he had been too obsessed with the success of the companies he had founded

With these five pillars in mind, I wondered how could I help Paul build a sense of meaning and direction at this crossroad in his life? Should I suggest that he focus on his relationship with wife and children — given the importance of belonging for wellbeing? Or was it too late? Given his present financial security, should he devote his time to other activities, music being his original passion? Or become a patron of the arts, thereby (因此，从而) tapping into his original passion while also transcending personal concerns by investing in the passion of others? By making these various changes, would Paul acquire a greater sense of purpose and control over his life path?

Moments of existential crises, like the ones Paul was facing, can be great learning opportunities. I believe it was Herman Hesse who said: “I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value.” Overcoming challenges is also a way to make life more meaningful. I was hopeful for Paul: there were still many options open to explore new things and gain a sense of meaningful direction. The choice, however, would be up to him.

As an old Greek proverb notes: 正如一句古希腊谚语所说

See you tomorrow