MY 100-Day English -41
Summary. At a certain point in life, people transition from “time to live” to “time left to live.” This shift creates a new sense of urgency about identifying the purpose of our existence. And as people confront this challenge, they come up against a set of fundamental human needs that collectively define how we experience the meaning of our existence: belonging, purpose, competence, control, and transcendence. Thinking about these five pillars (柱子；支柱) of meaning can help you reinvent your life.
Paul, an executive participating in my C-suite seminar at INSEAD, told me that the reason he had decided to enroll in my program was that he felt lost. On the surface (在表面上，外表上) he was a very successful businessman, but his many achievements no longer gave him a sense of satisfaction. What he felt instead was boredom and dread.
When I asked Paul to reflect on the recurring (循环的，再发的) patterns in his life, he realized he had been a one-trick-pony (只有一技之长的人). Apart from work, there had never been much else in his life. As a result, while he had many business acquaintances, he had made no real friends. He and his wife had become like two people just boarding together, and he had little personal connection with her or even their children. When I asked Paul if he had ever dreamt (梦想) of an alternative career, he told me that he had once wanted to be an orchestra conductor but his father had opposed the idea.
Listening to Paul called to mind (不禁想起，想起来) a poignant ( 尖锐的；辛酸的) observation made by Viktor Frankl, Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist: “Ever more people today have the means to live, but no meaning to live for. (如今，越来越多的人有了生存的手段，却没有了活下去的意义)” Paul’s is not the only such story; I have heard many variations on this theme during my workshops. At a certain point in life, we transition from “time to live” to “time left to live.” This shift creates a new sense of urgency about identifying the purpose of our existence. And as people confront this challenge, they come up against a set of fundamental human needs that collectively define how we experience the meaning of our existence. I call them the five pillars of meaning:
Belonging. Humans are social animals, and for most people, meaning is anchored in affectionate (充满爱的) interpersonal relationships. Each interaction we have, be it of joy, disgust, anger, or sadness, allows us to learn more about who we are and what we want. When we are supported by others through such experiences and challenges, we cope much more effectively with them. All too often, however, people are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges. Paul’s story makes clear that he did not make much of an “investment” in this critical part of his life.
Purpose. To thrive, people need a direction and goals to look forward to; people who lack a clear sense of purpose find little meaning in whatever they’re doing. As people approach the end of a phase in their lives, they begin to suffer from a lack of future-looking purpose. Although Paul clearly had purpose at some point (he had created many companies), that purpose was disappearing as he approached the end of his active career — how many more companies could he feasibly create?
Competence. People derive (获得，源自) much of their identity from what they do — how they use and master their unique talents. A sense of competence provides confidence in people’s ability to meet the challenges that lie ahead of them. High levels of competence often involve being “in the zone,” completely and utterly (完全地，彻底地) immersed in whatever we’re doing. It was in part Paul’s talents in financial matters, which he enjoyed putting to use, that had helped him find meaning during his career.
called to mind：不禁想起
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