Leading Through Anxiety

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PLAY DETECTIVE

做一个侦探游戏

Once you’ve labeled your anxiety, you can start pinpointing when it appears and why. Harley helped me learn to do this. When you feel anxious, take note of your physical reactions — what she calls the “early warning system” that anxiety might be taking over.

Your triggers might be small. You might notice a stomach flip and a spark of dread (恐惧，害怕) when you see someone’s name pop up in your in-box (收件箱). Or they might be bigger. When unemployment numbers skyrocket (一飞冲天，上涨), you might feel nauseous (恶心的) and unable to focus even though you still have a job.

When an interaction or a situation sets you off (令你失望), examine why. You might be hesitant to delve into (钻研) issues from your childhood, but “unresolved business” from your past, as Colonna puts it, is very much present in (出现于) — and relevant to — how you lead. He notes it can be a relief to truly understand how your old wounds inform your present behavior. When I realized that my near-constant worry about going broke stemmed (起源于) more from my childhood than from my current financial situation, I was finally able to proactively (主动地) manage my money, after years of avoiding it and piling up debt (积累债务). I broke a damaging pattern.

It’s also good to understand how you react when triggered. I call these anxiety “tells.” Social worker and therapist Carolyn Glass suggests asking yourself, “How did I respond to that anxiety in that moment? And were those behaviors helpful or not? Did those behaviors fuel (燃料，刺激) or alleviate my anxiety?” Glass says that writing down your fears will help you examine them. Keeping a journal of your anxiety — when it happens, what triggers it, and how you reacted — is a great way to develop self-awareness. Your tells may not always be negative behaviors, though; for instance, many of us find ourselves connecting with friends and family more during stressful times. When I’m very anxious, I cook and freeze meals!

Many successful leaders react to anxiety by working harder, holding themselves and others to an impossibly high standard, or trying to control things that are beyond their power. For them, it’s hard to imagine not fussing (烦躁) over every project and detail in their work lives, not taking responsibility for everything or always giving their all (全力以赴). “People respond to anxiety by trying to be more perfect and more in control,” Boyes says. “They not only have a Plan B but Plans C, D, and E.” In many societies those behaviors are rewarded. We think of it as a “good work ethic,” but often perfectionism (完美主义) and overwork only cause further anxiety — in yourself and others.

See you tomorrow