Leading Through Anxiety

img

Acknowledging and Accepting Your Emotions

承认并接受你的情绪

A common coping mechanism for leaders is to push through stress, fatigue, and fear. But that’s succeeding in spite of your emotions, when it’s far better to thrive because of your emotions. You have to learn to accept your anxiety — even though this may seem uncomfortable or counterintuitive.

LABEL WHAT YOU’RE FEELING

给你现在的感受分个类，贴个标签

Angela Neal-Barnett, an award-winning psychologist, expert on anxiety among African Americans, and author of Soothe Your Nerves, is a firm believer in being honest with yourself. When you name a feeling — by saying to yourself “I’m anxious” — you can begin to address it. You can learn how anxiety informs your behavior and your decisions and what causes it to surge, which will equip you to manage it.

No one has to hear you say it. This is for you. Take the time to wallow in your thoughts. Let yourself experience the discomfort of fear and anxiety. Play out worst-case scenarios in your head. Allow your imagination to go wild with catastrophe. Cry. Grieve. But don’t turn away. As Alice Boyes, a former clinical psychologist and author of The Anxiety Toolkit, says: The more you try to control your anxiety, the more it fights back.

Decades of research on emotional intelligence have shown that people who understand their own feelings have higher job satisfaction, stronger job performance, and better relationships; are more innovative; and can synthesize diverse opinions and lessen conflict. And all those things make people better leaders.

If the word “anxiety” feels wrong to you, label it whatever you like. Call it “unease” or “temporary uncertainty” or even give it a silly name. I think of my own anxiety as a separate character who travels with me. She doesn’t have a name or a face, but I know when she’s present.

The leadership coach and CEO of Reboot, Jerry Colonna, says that the best way to deal with uncomfortable feelings is to welcome them in. Think of your thoughts and emotions as trains coming in and out of a station, he advises. Watch them arrive and depart without attachment (无牵挂，无依恋). Imagine saying, “Hello, anxiety. See you later, fear.” This technique actually will help you build distance from the negative feelings in your mind.

Sometimes it may be impossible to get rid of your anxiety, which can feel frustrating. Rebecca Harley, a psychologist at Massachusetts General Hospital and Harvard Medical School, emphasizes, “The goal is not to magically make things perfect. The goal is to learn to surf the waves of distress (危难，悲痛，贫困) successfully. Give yourself credit even if things don’t feel all the way better.”

See you tomorrow